This past weekend, I encountered some firsts. I went to Salem with my class on the annual Junior trip. We had an amazing time, despite not seeing any witches from Hocus Pocus (looking at you, Bette Midler.) I also went into my first (and last) Haunted House, and I also went to the Emergency Room for the first time!
Let me start from the beginning.

On every corner in Salem, Massachusetts, you can find a haunted house. And since it is October, Halloween is in the air, all that jazz, my Salem group decided we had to go in a haunted house. I, on the other hand, thought otherwise.

I will be the first to admit it, I hate haunted houses. Why anyone would spend money just to scare themselves is beyond me. I cannot handle people in creepy masks with chainsaws and ropes popping out at me. No thanks.

So as my group toured through some Salem haunted houses, I waited outside with their bags and laughed at them as they came running out, screaming with terror.

For some odd reason though, two days later, I agreed to going to the Institute Of Fear at the Saratoga Fairgrounds.

That was a mistake.

I stood in line in the freezing cold, panicking about facing my fears in the haunted house that stood before me. The group of friends I was with couldn’t help but laugh as I came up with excuse after excuse as to why I really shouldn’t go in.

I ended up going in.

I walked through room after room, trying to avoid contact with the actors popping out at me and pushing through dark rooms with who knows what lying ahead.

I was doing just fine until I reached the “insane asylum/haunted hospital” part of the house. The whole thing was lit only by a strobe light which completely terrified me. To top things off, a girl locked behind bars screamed at me to “GET HER OUT OF THERE” at an ear shattering frequency.

All I could think was, “get ME out of here.”

Did I mention I hate haunted houses? Because here is the real reason.

We reached the last room, I can see the exit. It’s RIGHT THERE. But there is a guy with a chainsaw, beckoning us to challenge him, to just try and escape. I stood there, dumbstruck, pushing forward the group leader to get us out of there,

We finally passed by the chainsaw guy and were home free.
Well, almost home free.

As the majority of you probably know, I’ve been wheeling around school in a wheelchair for roughly the past two and a half weeks, with an uncertain foot pain. Well, of course my foot would act up as I exited the building. I kneeled down to attend to it, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see the chainsaw guy chasing me. And because I am just deathly afraid of these things, naturally, I ran away. I could instantly feel my foot swelling up and I could hardly walk as I met back up with my group. What a lovely way to wrap up the night.

Not.

Two days later, I took my first (and hopefully last) trip to the Emergency Room because of my foot pain.

Turns out I broke my foot at the haunted house! Well, technically, I didn’t break my foot at the haunted house, it had been broken for the past three weeks and had been healing, and I basically just rebroke it by running from the chainsaw guy.

Now, I have this (not) really cute boot I get to wear around to heal my broken foot. I know what you’re thinking. What’s the point to all this? Well, it’s simple.

Haunted houses should be avoided at all costs. Yes, you heard me correctly. Haunted houses are not worth your time, folks. Not only do you pay to literally just have people scare the living daylights out of you, you could potentially be chased by sketchy guys with chainsaws and end up breaking your foot.

Instead of lecturing you adrenaline junkies and thrill seekers, I will leave you a list of things you can purchase with the money you save from not attending a haunted house this Halloween season.

-A whole pizza
-A Winona Ryder movie
-Candy for the young trick-or-treaters
-Gas for your car to take you anywhere but a haunted
house
-A pumpkin since it is pumpkin carving season
-A week’s worth of mocha or popcorn from the E-Way Cafe
-A pack of pencil’s so you don’t have to borrow from
somebody else every class
-A sub from Subway
-Seriously you could get a whole pizza with that kind of
money
-Moccasins
-A nice present for your teacher to show how much you
appreciate them
-New music on ITunes
-LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT AN ADMISSION TO A HAUNTED HOUSE

Note: This is merely my opinion on haunted houses. I will not think less of you if you attend a haunted house, but I might think you are a little crazy. Do what you want though.