When I was an underclassman, I used to see people hanging out on social media, and then at school they were talking about certain moments I wasn’t there for. I used to get really jealous and I hated missing out on events everyone went to. This was also known as FOMO, fear of missing out. I used to.

Now, I look at those same events happening, and I’m more than happy not to go. I hear people talking about it and I realize I have absolutely no interest in what happened. I didn’t want to engage in the events, and I was actually really happy I didn’t go. 

So why such a change?

I realized what they were doing didn’t genuinely interest me. It interested them, and I felt the need to conform. The events seemed so small, temporary, and irrelevant. I would’ve much rather stayed home and watched the entire MCU, which I now do. In a week, no one mentions the event again, as something new has come up. I would not get caught up in this repetitive cycle of misery again.

Independence and being able to spend time with myself is one of the most freeing things I’ve been able to do. I no longer rely on everyone else to distract me or make me feel entertained. I’m not saying I don’t ask for help when I need it or have no social life at all, but I don’t rely on everyone else and their hobbies to keep myself at peace. 

I’m just happy I have found comfortably within myself and I am now spending that time in more productive ways that make me happy. I have my group of friends that are willing to watch Hamilton on repeat with me, and that’s all I need.