These documents have recently been recovered from a mysterious chest found in an old woman’s attic. Historians say it could give great insight into the inner workings of the downfall of the late twentieth century and the societal pressures placed on the most important canines of the world. And so, without further ado, I present to you A Dog’s Life: Excerpts from the Diary of Lucky, Ronald Reagan’s Most Trusted Canine. *NOTE* to get the full effect of the psyche of such an important dog, please utilize the most dog-like voice possible while reading.

Day 1: Dogcember Sixth, 1984

I got new Masters today. They seem really nice and I really like them a lot, really.  Master Ronny keeps saying I’ll grow up to be bigger than a pony, but I don’t know what a pony is and I definitely don’t want to be bigger than one. I like being small so I can sit on my Master’s lap. Then again even if I’m big I can probably still sit on their lap. I’m sure they won’t mind, and even if they do I’ll just pretend that I can’t hear them.

Above: Lucky and Master- Ronald Reagan prepare for a lengthy helicopter ride with Lucky depicting the aforementioned “lap dog” behavior, despite his size.

Day 287: September Canineteenth, 1985

My legs are so tight being cramped up in this house of whiteness all day long. Master has been in meetings all day which means I’ve just been running around the house of white hoping one of the Master Servants will accidently open a door so I can run free. No luck yet…Oh look another dog!…Ouch! I don’t understand why I can’t get to the other dog. There seems to be a barrier between me and the other dog, who looks super fun! Let me try like five more times maybe I’ll wear it down.

Lucky’s apparent fixation with windows began early as he is depicted above staring through another window attempting to reach the dog on the other side.

Day 348: Novembdog 20, 1985

Master Ronny was meeting with a woman most of the day today. I tried to call her Master Margaret but that was too much alliteration, so I started calling her Master Thatcher, but that rhymed which makes my mouth taste like cat fur…yuck. So now I just call her Woman. Master Ronny, Woman, and I are on a W-A-L-K right now. I call it that because that’s what all the  Masters call it when they think I’m not listening. I think that’s the official name for it… OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH OHMIGOSH THERE IS A SQUIRREL RIGHT THERE! I HAVE TO GET IT, IT IS PARAMOUNT TO NATIONAL SECURITY THAT I REACH THIS SQUIRREL RIGHT NOW! Master Ronny didn’t like that. I pulled on my restraining string and Master Ronny got mad. The squirrel got away but not for long. Tomorrow I will launch a top secret mission in order to obtain and the whereabouts of this squirrel and extract it from its lair.

Investigative reporters seem to have captured the exact moment in which Lucky first spotted the infamous squirrel. This testimony brings us one step closer to finding the squirrel culprit and bringing it to justice.

*If you liked these excerpts from A Dog’s Life: Excerpts from the Diary of Lucky, Ronald Reagan’s Most Trusted Canine, I urge you to purchase the entire book for only $19.99 at your local book store. Please, it is paramount that this important document of history doesn’t die with its owner*