Have you ever considered the possibility of not being straight or cisgender, or realizing you are in fact, not? Well, if your answer is yes, then you have come to the right place. First things first, you’re probably panicking inside. If not, then kudos to you. Society makes this out to be a big deal, and sometimes, depending on how your family or friends view this topic, it can seem like this is the worst possible thing ever. I can assure you it is not. I know that you want to be accepted by every single person who you love and lean on for support, but if those people aren’t willing to accept you, you should not hide or change yourself for them. Even if it’s painful to let someone go, you won’t be happy making compromises as big as this just to keep them. 

Now, if you are just realizing this, take your time. If you’re not comfortable, you can wait as long as you want to come out. Coming out isn’t like in the movies. It’s not one big announcement to everyone you know that resolves all of your issues all at once, and works out perfectly. You’ll probably be coming out to several people throughout your life (if you want). That brings me to my next point. You don’t have to come out. You can just bring your partner home one day, to the confusion and amazement of your parents, and say that you love them. If they don’t support it, then you know where you stand with them. 

For people coming out as trans, non-binary, gender-fluid, etc., it might be in your best interest to come out. Usually, people that identify as anything other than cisgender (but not always), want to transition. They want to change their name, possibly get surgery, hormone treatment, change their hair, etc. Sometimes it’s better to tell those closest to you that this is who you are, just because of that. Again, it’s your life, and you live it however you see fit, but I highly recommend coming out to family and friends if they are really important and close to you. 

When you realize your sexuality or gender identity, especially if you thought you were something else your whole life, or you repressed it, it can be really hard. It’s okay to come out at a later age; that doesn’t make you any less valid. But I am writing articles like these to try and help people realize sooner who they are, and how to be proud of that. 

Sometimes if you were raised on certain family ideals, (such as: being gay is a sin, being gay is disgusting, being trans is an abomination, etc.) then you probably believe them, because it’s all you’ve ever known. So if you grew up in a household that doesn’t accept the LGBTQ+ community, it can make it ten times harder to realize or accept if you are in that community, or to come out to your family. My advice for coming out: 1. Make sure you don’t rely on who you are telling for housing, money, etc. 2. Make sure when you tell them, you are safe or with someone. 3. If they take it badly, it’s okay. That just means they either need time to process, or if they don’t change their mind, that they aren’t worth it. I know its hard to think about, but sometimes, people aren’t willing to change their beliefs or ideas for even the people they love. 

Once you have come to terms with everything, or have come out to everyone you want to, here’s what I suggest: Research. I’m definitely not using this article to push my agenda on how amazing research is. Definitely not. But seriously, research is very important. You could research the history of the LGBTQ+ community, our country’s laws and protections for us, (for trans people) different ways to transition, or your insurance policy/coverage for said transitioning, safe sex, advice from others just like you (kind of like what I’m doing here, right?), or just how to go forward from here.

Once you’ve accepted yourself, and found people to accept you as well, you can start being proud of yourself in whatever you want. You can shout out to the world that you’re gay, if you want. Or maybe you can just simply tell a neighborhood cat. You can use your pride to help others be as proud of themselves as you are becoming, and you can be a part of this community, and a part of history. Every single person in this community, or the people supporting it as well, are not only a part of history, but are making it too. Be true to yourself, because there is no other way to live in my opinion. Do what makes you happy. I’d rather have half of the population hate me for being trans and gay, than hate myself and be straight and cis. (Sorry to the straight and cis people reading this, this is not a hit.) I hope this article will make an impact, and help more people learn how to support and respect this community.